Thursday, July 23, 2009
THE GRAY AREA PIECE
Gray: of a color between white and black; having a neutral hue.
What's clear to me when dating is that nothing is ever clear until the actions of two people match the words they utter. Assuming we are talking about an average guy average girl situation(although my friends and I are nothing close to average), women tend to place us guys in a couple categories…
1)Not Interested 2) Cute 3) Fine/Hot/Pretty Boy
The “Not interested” category usually consist of not having enough money, not showing enough money or not looking good on the surface to the woman. The guy could really be cool for her but the guy has absolutely no shot with that women. Basically, if you walk up to a girl and open your mouth to say, “Excuse me…” ,she’ll interrupt you and say she has a boyfriend, and you’ll finish the sentence you started by saying, “…can you move over so I can buy a drink?”
The cute guys instantly go into the gray area. At no fault of their own…since birth they have been designated gray. I know…I know…guys are saying, “Well, I was born brown, dark, light”…yeah, but women are color blind and to them you are gray…face it!
Hot guys (from a women’s point of view) start off totally black and are in great position until you tell the girls that you have a girlfriend or are dating several chicks. The thing I have noticed is that with the hot guy, women really don’t care about the hot guy's disposition… So, I would say just to “do you” because they’ll be down for just about whatever.
It is amazingly interesting to me that women tend to talk about wanting a good guy, yet they fall for the guy that is all wrong for them. I recently spoke with this girl whom I’ve dated recently and she told me about this ass hole guy who’s in a relationship with one of her girls. So, I said most women don’t want the nice guy, they want the ass hole…so do you? She said no I don’t and they don’t. I remained quite…then she proceeded to confess that I was right and pointed out that she fell for the ass hole guy and got married and eventually got divorced. I am not judging her, but merely explaining the black area.
The guys who are deemed “Not interested” can find women of course. There’s a woman for everyone. These guys typically can overcome their looks with superior confidence or take a job in a call center and meet a “nice” chick because they see each other everyday and looks and personality go out the window in the workplace. Now, don’t act like you have never seen a nice chick with a scrub and wondered how did that happen??? Some would say Janet and Jermaine…some would say Jay-Z and Beyonce…on a non-celebrity level of course. P.S. It works the other way too!
Gray…Thou Art Gray:
I’ll start the theme section with excerpts from a conversation I had with my boy about women…
“How do we get in the gray area?”
I think they put us in a gray area upon the first meeting. You ever went out on a date with a chick and thought that her body language didn't tell you much. Like she was laughing and talking to you, but you couldn't tell if she like you or not. Gray Area. I've had that before.
Here are some reasons women will put you in the gray area:
1.) They find you moderately attractive/cute
2.) They are just getting out of a relationship
3.) They are talking to other guys who have similar qualities as you
4.) They haven't been moved either way by you
5.) They put up an initial wall for guys who they don't consider "FINE!"
“She found me moderately attractive?”
The fact that she didn't call you back means that you didn't in her eyes do anything to appeal to her.
Yo, A friend of mine went out...got like 4 numbers... two, he’s till talking to now...why?
He talked to two for an extensive period of time and both of the women found something about him that was appealing. The other two...didn't have much to go on...and since he may have been just cute to them, they didn't feel compelled to answer when he called. Grey! I don't know, because if we go by the reason I stated above about why we are in the grey area, then that's nothing we can really control. So…no, if a girl puts us there, then we're there. Now, the question is, knowing that we are there, how do we get out? See, that's tough too because a lot of the ways to get out may not be in our personality or physical make-up.
“We can only control what we can control and we should not focus/concentrate on things that are out of our hands. Can that mentality be the final answer to any disturbing situation with any woman? Does it end there or does it start there?”
I've never worried about being in the gray area. I knew I was there in the past but just didn't call it a gray area. I would refer to the gray area with this statement, "I don't know if she's into me." What does it mean if a woman gives gray area guy her number and doesn’t answer or doesn’t call? Well, she probably does that all the time...you know...go out, give her number out just so she can have someone new calling her. But she's probably seeing someone or not interested.
In general, the only way to not be in a gray area is to put the woman in the gray area. This way, it doesn’t matter either way what she does. If working out isn’t in you…don’t do it. If flashing money isn’t you…don’t do it. Timing is very important…
Gray area is important to recognize. Keep dating until a woman shows you she’s different than what you’re used to. Never lose site of the gray area. Note: It’s possible to overcome the gray area, but if you feel you are overextending or if you have to ask your boy if he thinks your girl is interested in you…she’s not interested and you shouldn’t be cool with being gray.
I’ll use this platform to set the tone for the rest of the year…”WOMEN, DON’T GIVE A GUY YOUR NUMBER IF YOU’RE NOT INTERESTED. BEING NICE WAS OKAY FOR THE 90’S. HOWEVER, SIMILAR TO THE WAY WOMEN THINK, GUYS DON’T WANT NICE!” -Gray
That’s not my favorite color anyway…is it anyone’s?
Note: This doesn't apply to all women...just most.